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Claiken

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(no subject) [Feb. 18th, 2006|02:44 pm]
Claiken
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BSB Hollywood Star [Feb. 1st, 2006|02:33 pm]
Claiken
[Current Mood |Inspired]
[Current Music |Rob Thomas - Ever The Same]

anyone think the Backstreet Boys deserve a Hollywood star?? i do!!

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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome [Dec. 17th, 2005|01:32 pm]
Claiken
[Current Mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[Current Music |none]

thats what ive been up to for the past few months... Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. what is it? you might be wondering. well, pretty much, at any given time, i am twice as tired as anyone else is, and thats at my best. at my worst, it takes all the energy i have to go to the bathroom & back to bed. theres no cure for it. the only thing we can do is try different herbal supplements, which we have already started.

this makes the christmas season, as well as indenendent study units at school, at the same time, SO much fun. (exaggerating, of course). i havent been awake enough to practise my flute in i dont know how long. ive missed a few band practises, and i never do that unless im bleeding out of my eyes, so u know thats unusual. i dont know what to do. im hoping this cleanse works... this 1st herbal thing were trying. so far, all it has done is made me go to the bathroom more... ill let you put 2 and 2 together on that one. anyway, i gotta go eat, im starving. ill post a picture later.

Told you I'd post a picture:

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My Mock Audition [Nov. 2nd, 2005|09:54 am]
Claiken
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |none]

I had my mock audition for university on saturday. it was awesome! the morning was kinda useless, because ive been to one before. they just explained what its like to take music there. then we had free lunch. (free food, always fun). then i had about an hour to practise. i was SO nervous for the audition because when i was practising i was messing up SO many times. when it was time for me to perform i was still pretty nervous. but luckily, i pulled it off! i made a couple mistakes, but the beginning and end were good, which is what people remember the most. after that the instructor worked with me for a few minutes on how to get my high notes to sound better. i was SO happy, it went better then i thought it would. hehe. a special pic of the day:

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Finally some good news amongst everything that is crappy [Oct. 21st, 2005|09:14 am]
Claiken
yesterday i found out that my eye is better, so i dont have to do a million eyedrops anymore, now just 4. yay. i also dont have to go to london again for another month, which is better then once a week. but, just as my luck would have it, i got more crappy news when i came to school today... some loser ruined it for all music geeks & we cant go in the music room @ lunch anymore... which means i get to find a new room to practise in... GREAT! or at least something else to do, which means more practising @ home. anyway, im going to find something fun to do on here. here yah go!

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Time for an update. [Oct. 6th, 2005|10:02 am]
Claiken
the past 4 months (around) have been pretty crappy for me. ive had mono (the worst of it the last week of june & 1st 2 in july) after that, tehre was youth orchestra for the last 2 weeks of july (the only good thing about my summer) then after that, the month of august consisted of work, work & more work. after that skool started, and now its the begining of october. ive done all of this while being exhausted as hell. recently, i burned 56 CDs of Clack. 56! from the most recent tour. oh, and, just around the same time i got sick, maybe a tiny bit after, i decided i want to take music even more seriously. just when my head was straightened out, my body fell apart. go figure eh?

pic of the day: (hehe)
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What a fun time! [Jul. 27th, 2005|09:49 pm]
Claiken
[Current Mood |lovedloved]
[Current Music |The Standing Line - Hold On]

today i hang around with my almost b/f. pretty much we would be already, but everyone else is telling me to take time, so i decided to date him, but were not going out yet to everyone else, does that make sense? anyway, we just had the most amazing time. just laying in each others arms listening to music, and we kissed. see, i wouldnt normally do that before were 'totally committed' but this i consider special circumstances. its not starting something new, its continuing something even better than before. i think i love him even more now that i know what its like to be without him. some songs make so much more sense now. just being in his arms makes me melt. its so amazing. and hes such a sweet guy. he actually knows what its like to respect someone the way that they want. i realize that alot more now b/c my last b/f didnt do that @ all. anyway, i dont want to ramble, so i'll leave it @ that.

& ur daily dose:

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Free [Jul. 23rd, 2005|01:07 am]
Claiken
well, im not as confused about my guy situation anymore. Still kind of, but its clearer now because i dumped that 1 guy. now im concentrated on 1. the only problem being that everyone i talk to is telling me to take time in between, like lots of time. but the thing is thta even tho we only technically broke up like 2 weeks ago, its been over 4 much longer than that. there was problems for the last month of it & we only lasted 2 months. so its been a long time already. its not that i cant stand to be alone, its that i dont want to be alone when i know there is something good waiting for me to be ready for it. you know? its not a fear of lonliness. its a fear of losing the best thing ive ever had due to too much time in between. time can make or break alot of things. anyway, im gonna make it short.

& ur daily dose, this weird thing i found online:

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The answer is much clearer [Jul. 15th, 2005|12:59 pm]
Claiken
[Current Mood |confusedconfused]
[Current Music |Backstreet Boys - Safest Place to Hide]

What to say? well, alot has happened since my last entry. my bf now (who im going to brake up with tonight at midnight, i'll explain that later) has incredibly pissed me off. pretty much the same thing he has done before, but worse. we were in the pool, and he was trying to go north and south (think bodies). not only that, since hes been out on his own, he has been doing quite a bit of immature, stupid things. some of which is the influence of 1 of his new friends, im almost positive. he has actually, since he knows he screwed up majorly, made a bet with him about me. my bf bet im gonna brake up with him tomorrow, and his friend says today. so, im going to send him an email at exactly midnight, and at the end of it im going to say something along the lines of "have fun figuring out who won the bet". he doesnt know yet that i know about the bet, and i know email shows an extreme lack of class, but he didnt have any class doing what he did so im not too concerned.

as far as the other guy i was telling you about. yeah, im still thinking about him. my mother seems to think that if i went back to him, i would be going back to a 'safe place'. but i dont know, me and her arent exactly on the same page about that rite now. but thats my life as of monday. now all i need to do is figure out some things within myself.

anyway, a daily dose, in dedication of the BSB's new album:

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Why? [Jun. 23rd, 2005|01:27 pm]
Claiken
ok, if you scroll down enough, theres a post about my love life. well this is an update. my b/f now isnt treating me 100% the way i would like. ill just say... he... expects too much. he did something to upset me, and i broke up with him. well hes starting to be that way again. and im not liking it. ok the confusing part, is that my ex, never ever treated me bad. the worst thing we did was get into arguements. which, in the scheme of things really isnt a big deal. well, this ex of mine appeals again. but is it because of the way he treated me? is it because i truly still love him? is it because i could grow to love him again? did i just temporairly lose sight of what i saw in him? or is it simply because of what my b/f now is doing, that my ex didnt do? who is to know? see, heres a little story...

as you know by my last post, the Never Gone album came out on the 14th. well, this ex of mine likes BSB music, so we listened to the album (he got a little emotional during "Siberia" because that song fits the situation to a T). well, a couple days later, i hung around with him again, and i was listening to the album on my discman. (i always, always have music on, im a musician) well, i took of my headphones, but turned up the volume so we could both hear. and "safest place to hide" was playing, which is a slow song. (i should add, at this point we were hugging. nothing bad, just a friend hug) anyway, since we were hugging, we were standing on my porch, and he started to slow dance, so i followed. well, after a bit i stopped looking at the tree and looked at him, and he just had the sweetest smile on his face. and i wasnt exactly frowning either. and i know, that if i didnt have my bf still, that we would have kissed. see, theres this comfort i have with him. whenever i was around him i was never scared of him taking advantage of me or anything. he is willing to give things up for me. to date, nobody else has been that way. whenever i listen to the song "Never Gone" i think of him.

what would you do?


cuteness :)
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